If you build it, he will be contained

The fella and I have been slowly been putting our backyard together since when we moved into our home, the space consisted of dirt and a few rocks.  One sprinkler system, lain sod, extended patio, and fence installation later and we are finally ready to add some greenery and life to our little plot of land. 

Jump cut to us getting a dog with a vendetta against all things plant based who seems determined to undo everything we had accomplished. 

This is our maple tree that used to have a lot more than one branch and now requires a protective barrier.

Silk tree that used to be over 4'.  It has since been nicknamed our "Stick Tree" but is now starting to come back to life.

Now, to be fair to Norman, he’s still a puppy.  Little guy hasn’t even hit the year mark yet so I repeat my pup mantra, normally with more colorful language after finding something else that he’s demolished, “He’s still young, he’s still learning.” Despite his puppydom, our yard still needs to happen so the wonderful solution of giving good ol’ Normicron his own space in the yard was visualized and brought to fruition.

Running along the side of the house is a strip of yard that is 6’4” wide and 39’ long that, once we put our fence up, created a pretty nice nook.  Since there was no gate on this side there would be zero foot traffic through this area and it's shaded most of the day making it an ideal spot for a dog run.

Transforming this nook into a dog run really only required fencing it off somehow to keep the bundle of fur contained.  Figuring out what to use for the gate took longer than the actual construction.  Plans were made for chain link fencing only to be tossed aside.  We went as far as buying a rod iron ready-made gate at Lowe’s only to return it after realizing Norman would knock it over in two seconds. After this frustrating defeat, the solution finally came to me.   

Purchase a ready-made 8’ section of picket fencing, make a few strategic cuts, add some hardware, and BAM dog run gate/fence is ready for action.

Having helped build our fence the previous summer, constructing the dog run gate/fence on my own was pretty easy.  So here we go.

Materials list

-       1 4’x8’ premade picket fence panel

-       1 gate latch

-       2 hinges

-       2 4”x4”x8’ wooden posts (cut down to 6’ in store)

-       Gravel

-       2 80 lbs bags of cement

-       3 inch wood screws 

Once my materials were gathered the first step was to dig holes for the posts.  I dug holes 2’2” deep and added two inches of gravel to provide drainage.  

Once the holes are all set, put posts in and add the mixed cement.  Once the cement is in, use a level to check that the posts are level.  Take a stake or other pointy object and jam in into the cement multiple times to eliminate air pockets and improve stability.  Recheck that the posts are still level (things shift during the cement stabbing) and make adjustments as needed.

Once the post were in place, I starting cutting down and reassembling my cedar fence panel to turn into the gate and fencing.  It should be noted, while the gate and fencing were built the same day the posts went in the ground, I waited a full two days before attaching anything to the posts so the cement could fully cure.

Creating the gate/fence required a lot of calculations in the sense that I held the uncut fence panel up in the gap and guessed where everything should be cut.  In order to turn the fence panel into a fence with a gate, four cuts needed to be made.  I needed one section to attach to the left post.  A second section to turn into the gate door.  The third section would attach to the right post and have the gate hinges on it.  The fourth cut would also be made on the third section to cut it to size.  This leftover bit would be trashed.

Also, the cutting portion of this project royally sucked because our buzz saw was broken which meant everything had to be cut by hand.   

First came the gate.  The section on the left is the bit that will be attached to the left post.  The larger section will become the gate door.

Gates require a support beam so I had to figure out how to build one.  Using a technique that any engineer would be proud of, I laid a scrap 2x4 across the gate and drew lines where the cuts needed to happen.

Since hand sawing was required, I didn't trust myself to cut straight lines so I enlisted the help of this kerjigger that I found in the garage.  Line up wood, slide the saw through the metal horseshoe shaped bit, and start cutting.  

Rejoice in the fact that the support beam fits!

Attach support beam to gate using 3" wood screws and glue.

Now that the gate door was done, I could add the latch and hinges.  This was the easiest part of the whole project (or so I thought) since it only required lining things up, drilling a few pilot holes, and then adding screws.  Done and done.  

Once the hardware was attached and cement fully cured, I got down to the business of defeating the Huns.  Oh wait, that was Mulan.  This is what happens when I watch Disney movies while writing.  Anyways,  using 3" wood screws again, I attached the fence panels to the posts.  Boom!  Dog containment time.

Now, some of my more observant readers may have noticed the substantial mistake I made while attaching the gate latch.  I put it on in such a way that the gate could not actually open.  Kind of a problem unless I want to heave my dog over the fence in order to get him in the dog run.  

Luckily for my sanity, this was an easy fix.  I removed the screws, repositioned the latch in the correct manner, and reattached.  Did the whole thing while it was still hanging up and took all of two minutes.

Now that the gate was functional, a few perks were added to the area so Norm could lounge in style.  Threw down some pea gravel for a ground cover, bought him a dog house (that he has yet to go in ungrateful beast) and purchased two LED solar post lights to add a bit of fancy.   

And I dub thee Dog Run.  There's a few more things I have planned for this space but overall, I'm pretty happy with how this looks.  Norm is also a fan because now he's not cooped up inside all day and our plants can breath easy knowing they're safe with him outside.  Also, an extra bonus for Norm, now he has a place to bury all the bones/chew treats that we give him instead of actually chewing them.  Dogs are weird.    

UPDATE: Norman still hasn't used that dog house. Not even once. What a fucking jerk. It's up on Craigslist right now. $80. A lot less than the original price. $5 more than I paid for Norm. He's lucky I love him so much. 

Towel Bars Beware II: Towel Barred Harder

Wow....that title sounds unfortunate.

So when we last left off, this shelf had been built but not hung in its rightful place.  Unfortunately, since I built this shelf from scratch, it didn’t come with any hanger thingys already attached.  Weird, I know.

After a quick bit of research, the hanging hardware of choice that ended up on the back of this baby was keyhole hangers.  According to the couple of DIY pages the internet shared, these would be strong enough to hold everything up, lay relatively flat against the wall, and be easy to install.  So easy to install that I offer you four steps to attaching your very own keyholes hangers to a shelf or other apparatus that is in need of hanging.    

Once all four extremely crucial steps have taken place, TA-DA, a shelf can be hung.

Man, taking a picture of a bathroom that has no windows with a camera without a wide angle lens is tough.  But, I did the best I could.  To make up for the quality, I've included a cat butt in the below picture.  You're welcome.  This is what our bathroom wall looked like prior to the detowel barring. 



Blurry cat butts make everything better

 Now, truth be told, I've never removed a towel bar from anything before but luckily, it ended up being crazy easy.  The one tricky part was actually removing the screws that hold the bar to its wall hanger.  The only screwdriver on hand that was small enough came from a glasses repair kit but I couldn't get a grip on it enough to turn the screw hence the appearance of the needle nose pliers in Step 1.    

Once the wall was all spackled and sanded, it was time for paint.  This was the point where I realized that we have a lot of blue walls in our house therefore creating an excess of half full paint containers that are also blue.  Thankfully though, my husband was smart enough to label the paint cans appropriately.  Yep, prepare for bathroom adventure time. 

After the agonizing wait of allowing the paint to dry (no picutres of this because seriously, you want to see a picture of drying paint?), it was time for the hanging.  Now, I was home alone during this step so I couldn't get the fella to snap a picture so I tried to recreate it on the floor.  Just imagine the below picture happening 4 1/2 feet up.

"What's up with the ruler?", you may be asking.  "Pinterest" would be my reply.  Little life hack I came across after being on Pinterest for a gabillion hours.  Take a ruler, nail a small nail through it about an inch from the bottom, and you have created the most handy tool ever for hanging things.  In this case, place the nail inside the keyhole hanger (where the screw will be going), place shelf on wall, once proper placement is found, gently press the shelf against the wall which in turn will press the nail in the ruler against the wall.  The nail will make a small mark showing exactly where the anchor and screw need to go.  I've used this ruler/nail tool a dozen times to hang pictures up in our house and it's awesome.  No more guessing or measuring needed to hang pictures up in the correct spot the first time.

My process for this portion of the project was to use the ruler hanger to mark where the left anchor and screw would go.  Once those were installed in the wall, I hung the shelf on it and using a level and my ruler tool, was able to easily mark where the anchor and screw for the right side should go.

I also added some felt cirlces to the bottom two corners of the shelf to help stop any bumping around plans this sucka may have had. 

Once everthing was said and done, our bathroom looked a little something like this.  Or exactly like this.  It is a picture afterall. 



No more linen origami.  No more straightening out haphazard towels.  NO MORE TOWEL BAR. 

Here's a nice Before/After shot of the bathroom. 

To be fair, the cat butt does add a little something extra to the Before picture

I love it.  The shelf offers space to display some cool knick-knacks which currently consist of a ceramic octopus I bought BJ for Christmas last year, a glass bottle filled with agates and sea glass, as well as another bottle filled with beach sand. My family used to go to Newport beach every summer when we were all little so I wanted to take a bit of the beach with me on our final trip.  The octopus prints are also hung a bit higher than previously which I think adds some nice scale to the walls/ceiling.

And, the most crucial point of this entire endeavor, no more towel bar......or is there....BUH BUH BUUUUUUDUUUUUHHHHHHH. 

Towel Bars Beware

Oh, towel bars.  If I didn’t already have a nemesis, you would be my greatest foe.  I fucking hate towel bars.  Hate them super hard.  You can’t fit more than one towel on them without knowing some odd form of linen origami and when they’re folded up, they never dry fully.  Reaching in hope for a nice dry towel after getting out of the shower and wrapping yourself in what is essentially an annoyingly damp mold factory is one of the worst things ever in my fluffy bubble of a world. 

When the fella and I moved into our new house, one of the first things I did was install hooks next to the shower in the master bathroom.

Did they really expect us to comfortably fit two towels on that piece of crap bar?

I think maybe one box had been half unpacked before I declared, “Screw this noise!” and ran out to purchase two $1.99 hooks.  Still one of my favorite changes to the house.  Cut to over a year later and I have declared war against the towel bar in the guest bathroom.  Granted, the shower in this bathroom has only been used a handful of times (mostly as a wash basin for beer brewing equipment) so the issues I have against my second greatest adversary don’t pop up all that often but still, all towel bars must be exterminated. 

For once, the Daleks and I agree.

My plan of attack was to build a simple shelf with hooks so the towels could be hung sans linen origami and the shelf could hold some cool decorative/display items.  Due to my lack of woodworking knowledge, building something entirely from scratch was a little daunting so I opted for the most functional yet simple design possible.   Seriously simple.  Its two pieces of wood connected with a couple corner brackets, screws, and glue.  There are also hooks....did I mention the hooks?  Because they are kind of essential to this whole party.   

First step was to cut down and stain the plank of wood being used which was in no way pilfered from the scrap piles of a dozen or so construction sites located around our house thus making the main portion of this project free.  Made one cut and turned a 5x6x1 piece of wood into two 2.5x6x1 pieces of wood.   The bathroom this shelf is destined for is currently rocking an octopus theme so I wanted something more rustic and maybe nautical looking, like the shelf was created from old pieces of a pirate ship, all weathered, worn, and imperfect.  To create some distressing on the wood I used a crescent wrench and banged the shit outta this thing to create dents, divots, and scratches.  It was super fun. 

 

Top: untouched wood.  Bottom: banged up and stained...similar to a hooker on a rough night

The wood stain (Miniwax Wood Sheen in Colonial Walnut) pools in the flaws of the wood created from the cathartic wrench swinging session coloring these pieces darker and creating an aged look.

Once my wood was all awesomely banged up and the stain had dried it was time to start assembling this thing in way that it would hopefully stay together.

Ran a line of wood glue along the edge

Set with clamps during the drying period

For some extra security, I also added wood screws going through the back section of the shelf and into the actual ledge portion.  I marked where the hardware needed to go, drilled pilot holes, and then added the screws.

Yea, screws!

There was a slightly annoying issue with the hooks I bought in that they did not come with screws.  After digging through our large mish-mash of hardware, I managed to locate the six necessary to complete this step.  The other lame detail was my hooks were a bronze color whereas all the screws found were silver.  Silver screws on bronze hooks looked stupid so I painted them oil rubbed bronze with leftover spray paint from a previous project.  

Inferior stupid silver screw on left.  Amazingly awesome painted screw on right.

The corner brackets/screws also got a coat of spray paint

 After all the hardware had dried....or mostly dried....I'm really impatient, I rinsed and repeated the whole marking where things needed to go, drilled pilot holes, attached the hardware, and ended up with this.

I could not be more pleased with how this turned out.  Funny thing is, after I put this whole shebang together, I realized that I didn’t have the proper hardware to hang it on the wall.  So, this post will be split into two parts my friends.  In the follow up post, I’ll show everything involved with attaching the hanging hardware to the shelf and then removing every last trace of the old towel bar from the bathroom so that we may forever forget its existence and replace it with the glory of my newly constructed apparatus.

TO BE CONTINUED......

My husband has issues

Sure, I mean, we all have issues right.  Nobody is perfect.  My almost complete lack of knowledge for the proper placement of commas is proof of that and I'm an English Grad.  Thanks college.  Anyways, the actual issue I am referring to are the Deal a Day T-shirt sites (like this one, this one, and then this one) that my husband previously frequented ALL THE TIME and managed to amass a ridiculous amount of graphic t-shirts.  He then chose to drop a ton of weight (around 40lbs) so most of his shirts no longer fit him and he had to amass a whole new crop to fit his slender new physique.  Way to be wasteful, sweetie. 

We ended up storing most of the shirts in a bin till we either donated or crafted the pile away. Now, the most obvious project for all these shirts is a t-shirt quilt.  So, yea, that's what I did.

First things first, sort through the pile of shirts (the below picture is only a fraction of what we have too) and select shirts to try and fit into the quilt.  An additional part of this step is to cover Hobbes in a pile of shirts because he's a blob and we can.      

See, he loves it under there.  He's like the Junk Lady from Labyrinth. 




Once all the shirts had been picked out, I arranged them in a pattern that seemed to work.   My main goal was to mix the shirts up enough so that none of the black or gray shirts, of which there were many, were lumped together in too big of a clump.

*Forewarning, I constructed this thing in probably the most complicated manner possible.*

Working column by column, the shirt with the widest graphic was trimmed down so there was about an inch of plain t-shirt fabric surrounding the picture.  The second step was to trim the rest of the shirts in that column to the same width.  Once all the columns were set, I cropped a bit off the top and bottom of each shirt so that the columns were the same length.

All in all, this process maybe took me around four episodes of Simpsons.  Not a huge chunk of time but there's probably an easier way to tackle this step.  What that way is, I don't know.  Obviously.  Or else I would have done it that way.       

After all the shirts were cut down, I started sewing the columns together.  Easy peasy for even a beginner, nothing but straight stitches.  Pin the edges of the shirts together, graphic facing graphic, and sew together.  

Repeat this step until all of the columns are assembled.  Also, make sure that the shirts are not upside down when you sew them together as evidenced in the top right corner with the Halloween shirt.  If this happens, use a stitch puller to separate the shirts so that they can be sewn back together in the correct positioning.  Extensive muttered swearing is highly recommended during this time. 

Next is to sew all of the columns together.   Pin graphic side to graphic side and sew.

Now, as pictured above, some of my columns were not the same length as I had previously thought.  This....was a bummer...but only a couple inches of the Phantasm shirt would be affected and you'd still see most of the creepy tall man so I didn't stress out over it too much.  Also, even though my construction method was a bit haphazard, I really like the final results where the rows are staggered.  Most of the other t-shit quilts I've seen were made by cutting each shirt into the exact same size and sewn together in a neat little grid so it was fun to try something a bit different.  

Unfortunately for my desire to whittle down my fabric supply by avoiding purchasing new stuff whenever possible, I didn't have enough of any fabric on hand to use as the backing for the shirts so I had to buy something new.  After wandering through the fabric store, this adorable and crazy soft super fleece fabric jumped out at me.

To assemble the shirts and the backing fabric, I laid the fleece on the floor, placed the shirt quilt on top, smoothed everything out, and cut the fleece so it was the same size as the quilt.  Very precise sewing science in the works here.

Next, you guessed it, pin graphic to graphic and sew.  However, be sure to leave a small opening between the two layers or else you'll be pretty disappointed in the end with your weird inside out blanket.  Of course, if that's what you were going for, then you get to skip the next step.  Hooray! 

If you did not want to create a weird backwards blanket then use the small opening to pull the entire thing inside out and stitch the opening closed.

BLANKET ACTION SHOT!!!!

Thank you Silent Hill for distracting him enough for me to snap some pictures.

Blanket action shots are not as dramatic as one might think.  Unless maybe the blanket was on a tiger or something.  That would be pretty dramatic.  Or adorable.  I'm leaning more towards adorable.  Oh man, comfy tiger purr would be the best thing.